“No one brings flowers when your brain gets sick.”

When you read the title what was the first thing that popped into your mind? Please take a moment and reflect on how this quote relates to you.

Ready?…

When someone is psychically “sick”, one would usually seek treatment or even a cure. Home remedies, antibiotics, and most likely a great amount of sleep might do the body just right. Now let me ask you something… What is the cure for when your mind or your brain is sick?  It’s simple. There is none. ” No one brings flowers when your brain gets sick.” I think it is important that we are able to understand and translate what the term sick means. To understand something you first must be able to interpret the concept given correct? To translate something, you must be able to receive the given language, understand it, and flip it into your own. So what does the term sick really mean? According to Merriam-Webster, sick means: to be affected with disease or ill health; as well as to be mentally or emotionally unsound. I love this definition, because it does not exclude our mental health. Remember that your mental health is just as important (I argue even more important) than your physical health.

Let’s take depression as an example. Depression is the state of feeling sad for an extended duration. Unless you’ve experienced it, this concept might be difficult to grasp so bare with me.  A mental disorder such as depression is so unique. I use the term unique because depression can be “typical” or it can be without reason. However, one thing depressive disorder is not is normal. If someone dear to you passes, the “typical” reaction would be to have an overwhelming sensation of sadness. In another individual’s case like mine… it has absolutely no cause. No reason, no triggers, no anything. Just sadness.

For the past five years, I have suffered with depressive disorder. It is extremely difficult to confess, but this is reality. Initially my “trigger” was getting over a long-term relationship. I was a freshman in college who just knew she was going to marry her significant other. Life happens and God did not want that person for me, and that is perfectly alright. Let me tell you… I mourned that relationship as if someone died. But I guess in a sense, a part of me did. I remember crying every single night. There was no “getting over it”. There was a time when I thought I would die because I could not shake off the sadness.  I used to cut myself, and my roommates would have to hide all of our household knives in our apartment. To this day, that breaks my heart that I put them through that… My mom used to sleep on Skype with me every single night, so I did not do anything irrational.  Because of my depression, I  withdrew from Penn State at that time. I remember having no control of my emotions, or even my mind.

How can one not have control over their mind? How can one’s mind ruminate so much?

To date my depressive disorder has gotten milder I would say. Some days are great, and others are awful. It’s one of those things where I wake up, thank God, and see what kind of Brittany I’ll be… Sad but true.  There is no cure for when the brain is sick. Antidepressants only mask the underlying issue for me, and I personally hate feeling dependent on medication.  I hope not to offend anyone, but without God and my family, I would not make it on a daily basis. Mental illnesses are so serious. This is why this exact blog was created. When your mind is sick… it’s almost embarrassing disclosing your issues to someone. I still get hesitant calling on family and friends.I hate bothering them. But I guess that’s an issue with black women and mental illness right? The irony…

Until Next Time<3

#mindmymelanin